I posted a comment on Ashley’s blog, and then decided to expand on it here, because I wonder if others had the same childhood learning that they had to unlearn (or if you learned it but it still works for you).
I know a lot of us were members of the “clean plate club” … you couldn’t leave the table until you finished your dinner, there are starving kids in China, blah blah blah. A lot of us had to drop out of that club and change that learning before we could successfully lose weight.
That's not the club I'm talking about, though. I was a member of another club. I was a member of the “don’t spoil your dinner” club. I remember being RAVENOUS waiting for dinner to be ready. Mom was cooking, kids were helping out, and OH the hunger. And I remember not being allowed to eat anything during that time because it would “spoil my dinner.”
I carried that idea into my adulthood … if I was cooking or especially if I was going out to dinner, I wouldn’t let myself eat anything. That way I’d be good and hungry at dinner.
Oh my gawd! Talk about a recipe for overeating!
I really had to retrain myself on the whole eating before dinner thing. It’s extra-important for me these days, since my husband gets home from work fairly late. Now, I have a late afternoon snack with some protein (often a vitamuffin and skim milk – 3 points and oh so good), and then sometimes an even later right-before-dinner snack of raw veggies. I find it really helps me keep the overeating at dinner in check, and I make better food choices when I’m looking at a menu because I’m not ravenous.
Was anybody else a member of the “don’t spoil your dinner” club? I’m curious – have you dropped out of the club?
Tangent … the phrase “ruin your dinner” makes me think of this video, which makes me very happy:
Can you tell I’m totally trying to distract myself from thinking about the fact that I still haven’t heard from the doc with my test results? I called the office four and a half hours ago (after three hours of watching the clock), and asked them to call me, and they said they’d call me back. No word yet. ARGH!
I did get my MyShape clothes, though. I’m holding off on the review for now … details to follow (I wouldn’t consider the MyShape experience over at this point).
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EDITED TO ADD:
I heard from the doctor. STILL no definitive answers. STILL they THINK this is a typical not-of-concern hemangioma, but they don't know for sure and they need to know for sure because the alternatives are bad news. Now they're sending me for a Nuclear Medicine Scan. That'll have to happen after I get back from vacation.
I guess inconclusive news is better than bad news, right?
I was really hoping for good, or at least reassuring news, though ...
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58 comments:
I totally understand that my mom was probably trying to get me not to eat a cookie and wait for vegetables...but yes it sooo backfired when I tried to use that mentality later in life!!
Hope you learn more soon from the doc.
I'm a member of the don't spoil your dinner club. Then dinner comes and i'm so hungry that i basically inhale it and get no enjoyment out of it. So like you i have a healthy snack and it is helping lots :)
Bummer about the results, but like you said at least it's not bad news. Thinking of you.
I hope the results turn out okay.
We used to get that also (mostly that it was a sin to waste food when there were hungry people in the world). But some of the stuff we were told to eat--YECCH!
I'm curious to hear what you think of MyShape. I glanced at the site but don't know if I'd want to order anything. I have a closet full of pretty feminine things I just need to fit into!
P.S. I loved those Garfield cartoons. Do you remember Orson the pig and Sheldon--the egg with legs that never hatched? Ah, the good old days.
Good luck with the results!
I am a former-member of the Don't Spoil Dinner club- but I am a current ad very active member of the Cleane Your Plate Club! It IS a habit- and one thats tough to break. I'm working on listening to my body more.
And that's my name! Happy said my name!!! =)
Add my siblings and me to both clubs! We all should begin to make a list of the new traditions we're starting with our own children or, in my case, grandchildren.
P.S. I'm keeping my prayer fingers folded on your behalf while you wait for test results.
I had the dubious pleasure of being a member of both clubs. My mother was president of the don't spoil your dinner club, and my father (who did all the cooking) was all about cleaning your plate. His motivation for that was more about accepting his love in the form of food rather than starving kids in China. I was doomed. I am learning to break both habits, but the finishing your plate thing has been the hardes, but Im learning.
Im glad you heard at least something from the Dr. Waiting has to be the worst. Take care of yourself, and use your vacation to recharge and relax. Try not to worry too much while there. Hang in there!
"Clean plate club" - My sister and I had to eat everything on our plates before we could leave the table. We weren't banned from snacks, but we still had to clear the plate, hungry or not.
My grandma used to try to feed me, hungry or not, even as an adult, and even after I put on many more pounds than what was healthy.
I hope you get health answers soon.
Hiya,
Thanks ever so much for stopping by. For me it was the clean plate club, I'd snack snack snack and would never be hungry at meal times but I still had to finish everything in front of me or else.....
and yeah, inconclusive news is better than bad news. take care of you
Hi
I love the video, very funny and catchy tune as well.
I really hope you hear about your results soon.
Best wishes
Kristy
Thanks for passing that post along. I remember reading it the first time and how impressed I was that you went through with it.
Of course, I hadn't started running then myself! Well, if you could do the whole 20 then I'll be giving it a whirl too. The worst that can happen is that I have to slow it down to a walk!
Every time you write about this medical issue, I'm a little more encouraged. I think "inconclusive"--by this time--is a very good thing, and I'm convinced it's not much of anything at all. Have a great weekend, my dear.
Okay, I somehow missed this entry. I am totally a member of the clean plate club and fight that battle daily. I never even thought about how my mom always used to tell me not to spoil my dinner. And you know what? I have vowed never to say "You have to clean your plate" to my kids and boyfriend, but I tell Chris, "don't eat that, I'm cooking dinner" all the time, and never thought about it! Wow, thanks for the light bulb!
Haha! I know exactly what you're talking about! My parents always told me not to spoil my dinner when I was a kid, and it has stuck. Even though I have changed my eating habits a lot lately, i still sometimes think about what my parents said. It's so weird how influenced we are by our olders, and not always for the better.
I don't think 'The Secret' has all the answers for every person but I listened to the audio version last week and there were some very interesting ideas about weight loss and maintaining healthy weight.
hopefully, the results will be ok.
i love garfield too specially the movie:))
alexis scott
Interesting post! My parents went to considerable effort for preparing evening meals and it meant we got to eat when everything was ready, not when we needed to eat.
I understand the power of ritual for them, but it meant that sometimes we ate at 9 pm.
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If you don't mind I am going to use that "don't spoil your dinner club" phrase with clients of mine.
Thanks
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I too was a member--ehem, still am a member, of the don't spoil your dinner club. But how can we be expected to wait hours and hours until dinner some nights? My new thing is to eat lunch an hour later than I usually do. This way I avoid snacking before dinner and I use my work as a way to distract myself from my hunger pains that come earlier in the day now!
I LOVE to eat... Now if it just wouldn't end up on my hips.
Never Stop Movin'!
M
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But keep up the great work and hope everyone reaches their goals.
I was raised in both the "don't spoil your dinner" and "clean plate" club, and developed habits of wolfing food down. It has been a long process to break them! I am inspired! maybe I will write an article about this too for www.elementsliving.tv
Great post. Very good point. Also check out this great site I found to lose body fat. http://www.axworkout.com
Great post.. Guide to Healthy Eating
I'm the pround 'clean plate club' lad and despite I get close to my 30s I will never change. It is about what you eat really...
That's funny, my mom use to say the same thing to us as children. Now I always "spoil my dinner." I have snacks all through out the day and that keeps me from over eating at lunch and dinner.
The important thing to remember though is if you are snacking, make sure they are small portion snacks .. like an apple. And then you eat a little less at dinner.
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hi,
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Yepp, I've definitely been a member of the "Don't spoil your dinner" club up until the last couple months. Dinner has always been a major hurdle in my weight loss campaign. To compensate I'm now trying to eat about 300 calories in fruits and vegetables about 2 hours before dinner which are accounted for in my daily calories, this way I am less likely to overeat. (It still doesn't always work completely)
Especially once we get to the age of taking responsibility for our own eating, having goals and a plan are a great discipline to learn at an early age.
we had the same problem rgarding eating habits.. im having a hard time dropping "dont spoil your dinner" thing...ughhh..
anyways, i would like to share this link : http://www.makingthebest.com/?page_id=924, about loosing belly fats...i think you'd be interested
When the kids ask before dinner for food because they are hungry I list the "good" foods if they don't want that then they are not hungry :)
I still struggle with the "spoil your meal" honestly. It's tough but sometimes I like to wait until I'm ravenous before I eat.
Then again after reading about the warrior diet I really don't worry about it anymore. Well timed fasting really can be a great benefit if you're looking to stay lean and fit.
Yea, the "clean your plate" and "don't spoil your appetite" are hard wired into a lot of children at a very early age so you have years of ingrained bad habits of either overeating or starving yourself while you wait for food.
It's important to 'unlearn' these habits if you want to stay healthy. Some of the simplest ways are to have pre-dinner appetizers and to take smaller servings for dinner. It takes time to change, but the reward is great!
Good article!
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I truly loved reading your post. Thanks!
Yes I was brought up in that brigade but you learn that that doesnt help much when you are want to lose weight and keep it off. The thinking nowadays is that you should eat little and often, and definitely sweets either, but the good yummy healthy things. Believe it or not the healthy are yummy even though you didnt think so when you were younger.
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Unlearning habits can be so hard - hope you're getting better!
I am glad to have found your blog. It is always encouraging to find others who have successfully lost weight. Glad weight watchers worked for you. I use a different approach. Just behavioral change.
I thought you may be interested in sharing the video I did today which I posted on YouTube....it gets across the message about how serious the obesity problem is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LpDd55Kq5E The heat maps from year to year are stunning.
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We have all done the spoiling our dinner by snacking. I have found that if I am tempted to eat something I chew on a piece of gum or suck on ice to keep me from eating anything I will regret.
If you wait long enough for food you sure will be rewared because it tastes way better!
Hiya,
Thanks ever so much for stopping by. For me it was the clean plate club, I'd snack snack snack and would never be hungry at meal times but I still had to finish everything in front of me or else.....
and yeah, inconclusive news is better than bad news. take care of you
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